With the mission for lederhosen now accomplished, all I had to do was find a place to stow my street clothes…Luckily I had already been advised that the central metro station contained a room full of lockers for just such an occasion. So I asked around to my fellow pedestrians who kindly directed me in the general vicinity and after another twenty minute walk, I somehow managed to locate my target and find an empty locker.

Now with two goals down, I still had one to go: get back into the tent and find my friends. So I hopped into another cab and headed back, my mouth already watering in anticipation for the beers that were no doubt in my immediate future. I pulled up to the grounds after about seven or eight minutes, and I yelled to the cabbie, “Yo homes, smell ya later!” I then looked at my kingdom – I was finally there, and with a pep in my step I dodged through the massive crowds until reaching the back door of the tent.

There was one tiny problem though: I couldn’t remember which guard I’d bribed on my way out. So I decided to throw caution to the wind and approached the first group of guards I came to. Coincidentally, I happened to recognize one of them as the guard from my previous bribery attempt, so I yelled over to him above the crowd: “Hey!…Hey!” I screamed, waving my hands frantically to get his attention. “Hey man! It’s me – from earlier!” Fortunately I managed to yell loud enough for him to notice, but unfortunately this worked a little too well as I also attracted the attention of his other three colleagues, who approached me together.

“Can we help you?”

“Um, yeah,” I replied hesitantly, choosing each word carefully. “I was told earlier that if I left the tent, I could pay someone to let me back in.”

“Well, why did you leave?”

“Because I wanted to buy a pair of lederhosen,” I answered, hooking my thumbs through my suspenders as proof of my purchase.

“Oh, and this is a big joke to you? This is funny?” one replied, eyeing me angrily.

“No, of course not,” I lied. “I just thought that if I came to Oktoberfest I should try and appreciate the German culture.”

“Who told you that you could pay?” Asked the guard who was obviously in charge.

“He did,” I answered, pointing at the young and now terrified looking guard in the background, who was shaking his head furiously in denial of this accusation. I’d come too far at this point however, to back down to this German Judas. “Yes you did!” I hollered in protest. Was this guy seriously going to turn me down? I wasn’t going to let that happen. I decided to continue, finger still pointing: “I was leaving, and I asked you if I could pay to get back in, and you said yes. Come on, all of my friends are in there and I don’t have a phone – I have to get back in!”

“I’m sorry, the tent is too full,” the head guard declared. “You have to leave. Goodbye.” So much for the German hospitality. Oh well, there were still more guards who would surely appreciate a little more weight in their pockets, so I continued to search. And I was right. I didn’t have to go far at all. The next guard I approached was willing to accept my offer, and let me back in for a slick twenty.

I was home free – it was time to hop back on the booze train and catch up with the boys. I spotted my friends as soon as I walked in, seated at the same table where I left them. But instead of joining them right away, I ran to the bathroom for a quick pit stop. Big mistake.

As soon as I got back into the main room, the entire section where they were just sitting was completely cleared out. Uh oh. There must have been 10,000 people in that tent – finding them was going to be a needle in a haystack ordeal. Shit, shit, shit! I’d played it cool all day with this risky mission, but now was the time when I started to panic. They could have been anywhere! Even worse, what if they’d been kicked out of the tent completely? Without thinking, I started for the exit. As I approached the back door however, I thought better of it. Okay, they couldn’t have gone far and I doubt they left the tent – I’ve just got to guess a direction. Eenie meanie miney…Okay, towards the center of the tent. So I started pushing through the mob, taking care to avoid the giant, whistling, German waitresses carrying their armloads of overflowing Oktoberfest awesomeness.

I ran around, squirming between drunk Germans and jumping as high as I could to see over the crowd to catch a glimpse of anyone familiar. This went on for another fifteen minutes of wasted drinking time, and I was starting to lose hope. But luckily a couple leaps later I spotted my friends at a table with some Germans, and I took a huge sigh of relief. Mission: accomplished. Once again, the beer gods had smiled upon me. Never in my life had I needed a beer more, so I immediately joined in the mayhem. It was time to start again with the punishing of the liver.

Before I knew it, I was standing on top of the picnic table, arm in arm with a traditionally clad German girl, singing “Country Roads, Take Me Home” with the other 10,000 tent attendees, mugs held high, and swaying to the music. More beers were then ordered and drank, and the cycle repeated. As you can imagine, this all went on until well into the Bavarian night, basically until our wallets were drained, and the last thing I remembered was being lip locked onto a similarly sloppy, top heavy German girl whose name I don’t recall. None of us remembered leaving the tent, and unfortunately, none of us left together either…

So I guess the best way to put it is I time traveled a couple hours. I skipped a track. There was a solid two hour gap in my recollection. I went from track 14 to track 17. Whatever. Next thing I knew, I was crossing an intersection with a large crowd of jolly Germans. Where am I? Who are these people? What the fuck have I been doing for the last few hours? Where are my friends? Where did that German girl run off to? Confused, lost, and tired, I realized that this couldn’t possibly continue. I had to call it a night. So I hopped into a cab and slurred my hotel’s address to the driver. It must have been a particularly bad slur however, as I ended up being taken to an empty street on the outskirts of Munich.

I soon found myself shivering and alone, with absolutely no clue as to the whereabouts of my location. With no clear plan in mind, I decided to hoof it back, which sounded like a great idea at the time. It didn’t take me long to discover though, that you can’t hoof it anywhere when you have no sense of direction, so I hailed yet another cab and went home. The adventure was nearly over…

by Matt Johnson

“What are you going to be this year for Halloween?” I recently asked a British friend of mine.

“Nothing,” he replied. “I’ve never celebrated Halloween before. I think it’s more of an American thing – I don’t really get it.”

“Joder.”

It was in that moment that I came to a shocking realization – there really are some poor unfortunate souls out there who don’t have the first clue about the finer points of this spooky celebration. Well, for those of you who remain uninformed and in the dark, let me shine some light on it for you.

Halloween is the best holiday – the BEST. For the youngsters, you get to dress up like your favorite super hero or movie character of the moment, knock on strangers’ doors (the only night of the year that parents encourage their children to go looking for strangers with candy), and receive endless amounts of tasty treats until your pillow case carrying sack is gushing gobstoppers. This phase in the Halloween Stages of Development Theory is known as the “back when everything used to be fun,” or simply, the “treat” stage.

From there, Halloween takes on a different role as we enter into those pimply-faced, squeaky-voiced, punk-rockin’ adolescent years. The candy was always great and everything, but now with your supermarket bag boy minimum wage pay checks, one can afford to gorge one’s self on candy whenever and wherever. The treats have now taken a step away from the focal point of Halloween motivations, and we therefore move into the “trick” phase. I’m talking of course about Halloween pranks. Have you ever done such a thorough toilet papering job that instead of high tailing it afterward, you just stood and marvelled at the majesty of your artistry? Have you ever done a midnight egg-launching air raid on the neighborhood miser’s house? Have you ever plastered a sleeping street with the hollowed out, decorated shells of toothless, grinning pumpkin carcasses? I’m not recommending that you consider wreaking this type of havoc in Madrid, but if you haven’t participated in these acts of typical teenage town tormenting, then I’m sorry but you’ve missed out. You didn’t even have to dress up for this, either.

We now come to the third phase in the Halloween Stages of Development Theory: the party phase. This is the one most of us are currently in at the moment. Who said dressing up was just for kids? There’s nothing like getting tipsy in your finest 80s rocker costume! For some reason people just seem to lose their inhibitions (for those of us who have inhibitions) when they’re dressed in disguise, perhaps because for one night out of the year, it’s like you can technically be another person. Hey, I wasn’t the one who came home last night and ate your chorizo, it was Spidey – I swear!

This then brings us, of course, to the final stage of the Halloween Development Theory: the “over the hill,” or “responsible adult,” phase. Typical symptoms include but are not limited to: staying at home to watch cheesy horror flick marathons, answering the doorbell for hours on end, passing out free candy to ungrateful neighborhood brats, and going to bed before 10. Please, when I reach this phase, shoot me.

Okay, now that we’ve got all phases covered, let’s move on to my list of Halloween Do’s and Don’ts. There are many ways to celebrate this holiday in style, but some are better than others. Take it from a seriously overenthusiastic costume buff like myself – making the wrong wardrobe or accessory selection can be the difference between a good night and an “oh-my-God-that-was-the-best-night-ever-if-only-I-could-remember-it” type of deal. So read ahead, friend, take my advice, and go boldly into the night.

Do’s

- Think outside the box. Creativity counts – if you have to be a superhero, ditch Superman for Mighty Mouse or Quailman. For guys, the possibilities of costumes can range from Cartman to Edward Scissor Hands, or from a dairy cow to a beer can (yes, I have seen both). Girls on the other hand, try to think of something more clever than a slutty (insert noun here). Don’t worry though – if nothing comes to mind, you won’t be hearing any complaints from our side anyway.

- Wear a moustache! Guys, girls, who cares? What’s more fun than shaking the beer foam off your whiskers? The moustache adds a creepy compliment to any of your retro outfits, and is also a perfect punctuation to any of your creatively-lacking costumes as well. If you’re going to be a fireman, why not cap it off with a solid ’stache? Pirate? No biggie. Throw on a moustache and you’ve got the best costume in the bar. Extra points for handlebars!

- Make your own costume. Think outside the readymade Robin Hood suit. The fun is in the hunt – think you can find a pair of green tights or a puffy-sleeved shirt in Madrid? The challenge is on!

- Get into character. If you’re going to look the part, act the part. Working on your accent and mannerisms are key. If you’re going to be a leprechaun for example, maybe consider watching Boondock Saints before heading to the bar. That way the Irish brogue will be fresh in your memory and ready for use.

- Find a sidekick. A good ol’ fashioned partner in crime is always a great way to celebrate the night, whether it’s your drinking buddy or the old ball & chain. Just please, spare us the Sony and Cher routine. It also goes without saying, but Raggedy Anne and Andy – don’t even…Also be sure to explore all available avenues. Video game characters come in great pairs, and are always under-represented. Mario and Luigi, Ken and Ryu, Scorpion and Sub Zero, etc.

Dont’s

- Come as yourself! Sadly, I’ve seen this done way too often. It’s more of a cop-out than a joke. Hey, if all your friends are dressed like fools, shouldn’t you be, too?

- Wear face paint. After a long night out on the town, the last thing you’ll want to do is come home and scrub your face for hours. This is for guys especially! That is, of course, unless you for some reason own a bottle of makeup remover…Another hazard of wearing war paint is that if you somehow forget to remove it before hittin’ the hay, you’ll be sure to wake up with a rainbow of colors smeared across your sheets. Saturday should never be laundry day. Ever.

- Wear a costume without easily accessible/functional pockets. Make sure that you are able to pull out cash, metro tickets, cameras, and flasks when necessary. Getting a drink takes long enough already without digging for five minutes! But most importantly, always make sure your valuables are secure. Poor pocket placement on your costume may make for a quick hit-n-run by the wallet hijackers of Sol. Also keep in mind the funky tunes: if you’re going to be breakin it down on the dance floor til the wee hours of the morning, avoid a costume with shallow pockets – otherwise you might as well just toss your wallet backwards into the crowd like the bouquet at a wedding.

- Rent a costume. I’m not sure if this is even possible in Madrid, but I’m guessing that it probably is. First of all, most rentals are very cheaply made. They usually don’t fit right and the material is often itchy, plus the fact that it’s like the bed spread at a cheap motel – you don’t know who’s been in it or the last time it had a good washing. Other than that, you run the risk of losing your deposit, which is never cheap. I personally don’t want to tip toe around all night trying to avoid mid-bar collisions and worrying over shirt-staining sangrias.

- Finally, and most importantly, don’t stay in one place all night. Madrileños are fun enough to watch on any given day. Imagine what kinds of craziness you’ll see while you’re out and about on Halloween! There will be Halloween parties all over town – it won’t be hard to find yourself a good starting/ending point. And if you can, make it over to the EV party, look for the lad in the lederhosen, buy him a shot, and tell him how much you enjoy reading his blogs!

Our summer Vibe Box is by European Vibe’s own Helen Macrae.

She brings us her top ten songs to listen to while enjoying the summer/lazing by the pool.

These are the final four:

Toots and The Maytals – 54-46 Was My Number

Energy 52 – Cafe Del Mar ‘98 (Three ‘N One Remix)

Dizzee Rascal feat. Calvin Harris & Chrome – Dance Wiv Me

Groove Armada – Edge Hill

Don’t forget it is now possible to listen to all new European Vibe Magazine articles and download them for FREE to your computer and MP3 player.

The recordings are for everybody, but they are especially useful for learning English.
If you read European Vibe Magazine to improve or maintain your level of English, you can hear native speaker pronunciation and learn how to say all the new words you see.
There are many different accents to listen to. We record all the articles at least once, but we also try to have multiple recordings of the same article with different voices and accents.
To see the written articles the audio relates to, visit the main European Vibe site: http://www.europeanvibe.com or click the magazine links on this page.

¡Mejora tu inglés con los “listening” del podcast y lee los artículos de la revista!
Apropiado desde un nivel intermedio hasta muy avanzado, este material es 100% auténtico y una forma tan buena como amena de avanzar.
Hay una amplia gama de acentos: inglés, americano, irlandés, australiano, escocés, etcetera.
Lo bueno de leer una revista en inglés es aprender vocabulario nuevo, lo malo es no saber pronunciarlo.
Lo bueno de escuchar un programa de radio en inglés es escuchar la pronunciación verdadera de la lengua, lo malo es poder entender muy poco, no poder separar las palabras o no tener ni idea de como se escriben.
Hemos juntado todo lo bueno con una revista que puedes leer y escuchar a la vez, y a tu ritmo. ¡Puedes aprender un montón de vocabulario, saber pronunciarlo y llegar cada vez más cerca de la perfección del idioma!

Click here to get your own player.

This month, our Vibe Box comes from Alan Shelly – licensee of rock and blues bar Echegarito.

In the May issue of European Vibe Magazine, Echegarito was the venue for our monthly bar chat – where we talked about the pickly subject of infidelity. Check out the magazine to see what our bar chatters had to say about cheating.

These are Alan’s choices:

7. The Trooper – Iron Maiden.
because: Not alot to say about this. It’s Iron Maiden!!

8. Plush – Stone Temple Pilots.
because: A great single release from a debut album from a band that was highly under-rated.

9. Rocket Queen – Guns n’ Roses.
because: I chose this not only because it’s a great song but it’s probably the only song with a real screaming orgasm stuck in the middle (i think they call it “taking it to the bridge”!!).

10. Rearview Mirror – Pearl Jam.
because: A very powerful number from one of the best alternative rock bands of the 90’s.

This month, our Vibe Box comes from Alan Shelly – licensee of rock and blues bar Echegarito.

In the May issue of European Vibe Magazine, Echegarito was the venue for our monthly bar chat – where we talked about the pickly subject of infidelity. Check out the magazine to see what our bar chatters had to say about cheating.

These are Alan’s choices:

4. Won’t get fooled again – The Who.
because: Probably one of the longest songs ever released by a rock band but you never get bored half way through like with most lengthy numbers.

5. Gimme Shelter – The Rolling Stones.
because: One of the more diverse songs from stones and not too commercial.

6. Radar Love – Golden Earring.
because: A great one hit wonder from one of Hollands greatest exports!

by Maja Gojkovic

This month we had a competition to win 5 cinema tickets in the Yelmo Ideal in Madrid. All you had to do was send us who you think the Oscar winners will be. A few of us in the European Vibe office thought we would have a go too……

THE CATEGORIES ARE:

George Clooney in Michael Clayton (Khilen, Manuel)

Daniel Day- Lewis in There Will Be Blood (Phily, Maja, Luc, Lewis, Scott, Tomek)

Johnny Depp in Sweeney Todd -The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (Aifric, Chris, Cynthia, Carla, Ferdi)

Tommy Lee Jones in In the Valley of Elah

Viggo Mortensen in Eastern Promises

Casey Affleck in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (Lewis)

Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men (Phily, Carla, Aifric, Chris, Cynthia, Luc, Khilen, Manuel, Scott, Tomek)

Philip Seymour Hoffman in Charlie Wilson’s War

Hal Holbrook in Into the Wild

Tom Wilkinson in Michael Clayton (Maja, Ferdi)

Cate Blanchett in Elizabeth: The Golden Age (Luc, Aifric, Manuel, Scott, Tomek)

Julie Christie in Away from Her (Maja)

Marion Cotillard in La Vie en Rose

Laura Linney in The Savages

Ellen Page in Juno (Phily, Carla, Cynthia, Ferdi, Khilen, Lewis)

Cate Blanchett in Im Not There (Phily, Aifric)

Ruby Dee in American Gangster (Carla, Ferdi, Khilen, Manuel,)

Saoirse Ronan in Atonement (Chris, Cynthia, Lewis, Scott)

Amy Ryan in Gone Baby Gone (Maja)

Tilda Swinton in Michael Clayton (Luc, Tomek)

Atonement (Luc, Aifric, Cynthia, Khilen)

Juno (Carla)

Michael Clayton (Ferdi)

No Country For Old Men (Lewis, Manuel)

There Will Be Blood (Tomek, Scott, Maja, Chris, Phily)

By: Ellen Marks

With the end of 2007 approaching, EuropeanVibe is hosting the first annual Vibe Awards. A variety of awards will be given, all of which fall in three categories: the bar and pub section, the restaurant section, and the business section. The voting will take place between December 1, 2007 and January 15, 2008. You can vote for one contender per category, and may send in your vote via email, mail, or by placing your vote in the ballot boxes available in selected bars around Madrid. To vote just fill out the following and send it in!

The voting closes on the 15th January 2008 and the winners will be announced in the February edition of European Vibe Magazine.

The 2007 Vibe Awards Categories are:

Bar and Pub Section:
Pub-Grub Award ________________________
Best Pint of Guinness in the City ________________________

Restaurant Section:
Finest Service Award ________________________
Best Value for Money ________________________
Best Concept Restaurant ________________________

Business Section:
Newcomer of the Year Award ________________________
Best International Service ________________________

An easy way to enter is to copy the above text and paste it into a new email and send it to awards@europeanvibe.com

Thanks for your votes!