Ok kids, this week it’s time to get a bit daft in our quest to save money!

Bus, Bin, Pigeon

Incredibly silly but strangely compelling game patented by myself and my good friend Laura, inspired by the beautiful cityscape of Birmingham but ideal for playing in any city in the world. The rules are simple: when you see a bus, shout “bus!”, when you see a bin, shout “bin!”…and you can probably guess what you have to shout when you see a pigeon. Of course, you can adapt the game to suit your local flora and fauna, for example in Lavapies “tramp, poo, fight”.

The first person to spot the object gets a point, winner is the person with most points (told you it was simple). Bonus points for combining all three things, such as a pigeon driving a bus into a bin. Whilst this scenario is quite unlikely, I did actually see two tramps throwing horse manure at each other a few days ago in my barrio. Score!  

by Helen Macrae

Greetings penny-pinchers! Here are this week’s tips to keep you in the black…

Hunt down the wealthy

Perhaps for masochists only. When you’re broker than broke, what could be more fun than mingling with the rich and famous to remind yourself of all the money you don’t have and things you’ll never be able to afford. Take a stroll round the affluent barrios of Salamanca, Retiro and Opera and you can almost smell the money wafting off the residents. Get followed round the designer boutiques by suspicious shop assistants, laugh at all the pijos with their Lacoste shirts and slicked-back hair, and try not to trip over any small yappy rat-dogs kitted out in diamante-encrusted collars and fluffy coats.

Become a kept man/woman

Everyone knows that there’s nothing more fun than enjoying yourself when someone else is paying. Use your time in Salamanca productively by staking out the pijo hotspots and practising your Spanish chat-up lines and, sooner or later, a wealthy boy/girlfriend will be yours! Once you’ve bagged yourself a filthy rich other half then your work is done, so just sit back, relax and proceed to rinse them for every penny they’ve got. Happy hunting!

By Helen Macrae

Since the last time we spoke I’ve not (a) had a wealthy long-lost relative die and leave me a substantial inheritance, (b) landed a lucrative contract to replace Penelope Cruz as the face of Mango, or (c) married a Texan oil billionaire. In other words, I’m still broke. At this time of year I imagine that many of you are in the same boat, with students running out of loan/grant/money from the Bank of Mum & Dad, and the rest of us trying to save those pennies in order to afford to go on holiday somewhere a bit better than Bognor this summer. Fear not though, help is at hand! Like a kindly (albeit cash-strapped) fairy godmother, I’ll be here during the coming weeks to guide you through your darkest dinero-free moments. Here’s this week’s tip to get you started, and let the penny-pinching begin! 

Picnic o’clock

Since Madrid is blessed with particularly pleasant weather during the summer months, what better way to spend a lazy afternoon than enjoying a picnic in one of the city’s many parks. Head out to Casa de Campo to get away from it all, try the Retiro if you prefer somewhere a bit more central, or if ancient Egyptian artefacts are more you thing then make a beeline for Parque Templo Debod. Of course, the essential ingredient of a picnic is, well…a picnic, and since you’re broke you probably don’t have the money to skip down to El Corte Ingles for strawberries and champagne. But before you go entertaining any ideas of shoplifting, just remember many an inventive meal can be scrounged from an almost-empty kitchen cupboard…just think back your uni days when you had to do it at the end of term in order to not to starve! Tried and tested dishes include noodles and peas, tuna and ketchup, and my personal favourite, fishfinger spaghetti. Buen provecho!