Deep-fried macaroni cheese please…and the rest
September 15th, 2009 by Helen M
by Helen Macrae
Well, September has sneaked up on us again and it’s time to get back to work. For all the English teachers out there especially, I hope you’re refreshed and con ganas after a nice long break without having to hear anyone utter “the people is”, “it depends of” or a mangled –ed ending pronunciation (argh!). I was fortunate enough to head off for a month-long jaunt around the USA, taking in 7 states and a HUGE amount of fun along the way. We saw the sights in New York, guzzled clam chowder in Boston, cycled over the Golden Gate Bridge and admired the views as we sped down Highway 1. We spent too much money in Vegas, ooohed at the Grand Canyon, hiked through the New Mexican desert and floated the river drinking beer with a bunch of Texans. It was my first time in the States and, in short, I had a blast.
Part of the fun derived from comparing the USA with Spain, which is where I’ve called home for the past couple of years. In our countrywide game of “Spot the Difference”, here are the main ones we came up with:
Size
There’s no getting away from it, the USA is one big mutha of a country. To someone who’s grown up in England, and a 45 minute drive to visit friends warrants staying with them for a whole weekend, flying 7 hours from New York to San Francisco and still being in the same country is simply mind-boggling. Granted, Spain is somewhat bigger than the UK, but it’s still pretty tiddly in comparison to a continent which has four of its own time zones, and more if you start counting all those other bits.
Other things we noticed came in giant size were all the cars, or rather those cars-on-steroids our American friends preferred to call “trucks”. They’re enormous! For our drive from California to Texas we’d hired what the car-rental company termed a “mid-size” car, which ended up being a massive family saloon and by the far the biggest thing I’ve ever driven (given that I’ve never had my own car and my parents have a penchant for hatchbacks), yet we were still dwarfed by pretty much everything on the road. Now don’t get me wrong, if you live in the middle of nowhere with only a dirt track for access then having a chunky off-road vehicle is perfectly acceptable, but surely the worst that most of the people we saw in those 4 x 4 monsters have to contend with are nice tarmac suburban streets on their way to drop the kids off at school. Give me a nice Spanish-sized car any day! And don’t even get me started on those ridiculous Hummers…
To match the massive cars, we also saw a few, er…massive people. However, I’d expected to see an individual the size of a planet on every street corner, and to be fair, we didn’t see that many really. Perhaps it was because they were all hiding in their trucks! After a detailed analysis (some might call it perving) in the various states we visited we decided that the general body type was pretty similar to the UK, i.e. with a hearty Anglo-Saxon feel about it, i.e. much bigger than tiny Spaniards with their svelte Latino frames. Afters many years of puzzlement I’ve come to the conclusion that the Spanish must just be blessed with fantastic genes, because there’s no other way they could pull it off with the amount of tortilla, jamón and vino they guzzle.
Or perhaps Spaniards are skinnier simply because they have a more sensible idea about portion control: generally, what you get on your plate in Spain is an amount that a normal person could eat in a sitting. Time and time again in the States we ordered what we thought would be light snack to be greeted with something resembling more like a three course meal. In Boston we ordered an “appetizer” of nachos as a warm-up to dinner, and I swear the waitress almost did her back in trying to heave it onto our table. I know it’s perfectly acceptable to ask for a doggy bag for your leftovers (whilst in both Spain and the UK people will probably think you’re just a bit of a skanky weirdo), but in all honesty I think I’d prefer to pay a quarter of the price in the first place and get a fraction of the food.
Eating out
Talking about portion sizes leads me nicely onto my next topic, which is the whole experience of eating out in the US. As we were there for a month and I can’t and/or won’t cook at the best of times, we dined out a lot. From street vendors and busy New York delis to classic diner joints and posh restaurants: you name it, we ate there. One thing I was pleasantly surprised by was the sheer variety of food on offer. Of course there were the staples I’d been expecting (McDonalds, KFC, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, etc.), but also a wealth of other choices: Japanese, Indian, Thai, Chinese, Spanish, Italian, Russian, Lebanese…and the rest. In Madrid we’re lucky enough to have this sort of variety but thinking back to when I lived in Zaragoza with its one (not very good) Indian restaurant, I have the feeling you’d struggle in the rest of the country. Of course, I realise that Spanish food is absolutely delicious and I love it as much as the next person, but I’m all for a change now and then, and in the States after drinking way too much on a river in Austin you decide you want something as specific as, say, deep-fried macaroni cheese and pickles, then deep-fried macaroni cheese and pickles you shall have!*
The amount of options within the different types of foods on offer was also slightly overwhelming. As someone who’s lived in Spain for a while, the sort of choice I’m used to is un bocadillo de jamón or un bocadillo de queso or (wait for it) un bocadillo de jamón Y queso. So of course when I walk into a New York deli and say “I’d like a bagel please”, I don’t expect to have a series of increasingly complicated questions barked at me whilst everyone in the queue behind me taps their feet and tuts because I don’t know exactly how I want aforementioned bagel. Plain, onion or cinnamon raisin? Scooped out or not? Toasted or untoasted? With cream cheese or not? With normal cream cheese or low-fat cream cheese? And so on and so on (and then I tried to order a coffee, God help me). As someone who normally avoids Subway because deciding which type of bread I want gets me in a muddle, at first it was a bit much. But after a while I got into the swing of things, and then soon I began to enjoy it, because who doesn’t want their morning bagel and coffee just they way they like it?
*I must just mention that I actually threw up shortly after consuming this, but it tasted good at the time. And it was probably the beer that made me sick anyway. Maybe.
Customer service
And so to the final big difference we noticed: customer service. Obviously this links back to my previous point on eating out, but applies to many places other than restaurants, such as bars, taxis, hotels and beauty salons (so I had to aprovechar and get my nails done, it’s a lot cheaper over there!). The one thing guaranteed to get a Spaniard confuddled is tipping since it doesn’t happen much over here, and in the States you tip for everything, and that means EVERYTHING. Even as a Brit I found it bewildering, because although we tip at restaurants and the like, we don’t feel the need to tip a taxi driver 20% or more. Unless they provide you with particularly scintillating conversation surely they’re just fulfilling their primary function which is to get you from A to B in one piece, so what extra service are you paying for? And giving the barman a dollar for every drink you buy (if you don’t want him to ignore you for the rest of the night that is), what’s that all about? Add these costs onto the tip you give your waiter plus the hidden taxes they spring on you when the bill comes, and it starts to be a lot more expensive than a night out in Spain.
I tell you what though, it was completely worth it for the amazing customer service we got over there. I know that when your waiter introduces himself, provides witty information about the specials, keeps your drinks topped up without you having to ask and brings you the bill in the blink of an eye, he’s on some miserable wage and is doing it all for tips, but if the service is that good I’m happy to pay extra. In some places in Madrid I’ve had the staff do their best to ignore me when I’ve tried to order, had my food practically thrown at me when it arrived, then been made to wait at least half an hour for the bill. Not everywhere of course, but it’s happened on more than a few occasions. I’d even go as far as to say that people in the US were more polite in general, seeming genuinely sorry if they knocked into you on the street or mistakenly jumped the queue. Even New Yorkers! Compare that to my first day back in Spain when I was elbowed out the way by not one but two abuelas in the supermarket. At least Spaniards are honest about it though, and don’t sink to that awful faux politeness we use in England, when someone yelling “Sorry sorry, excuse me!” as they barrel past you on the Underground really just means “Get out of my way…NOW”.
So there we go, a short summary of what were, to me, the most obvious differences between the two countries. I sincerely hope I haven’t offended anyone in the process, because I love Spain with all my heart (why else would I choose to live here?) and I absolutely loved my first taste of the US, despite the fact they have no ground floors, I still don’t know what biscuits are, and people don’t really go to the restroom to rest. I’m looking forward to my next visit already!






















