by Chris Read (with a bit of help from Richard Walker and The Daily Mail)

Perfect proof that Britain is dumbing down comes from the toe-curlingly embarrassing answers given by many contestants on TV and radio general knowledge quiz shows.

Here we are giving you the one’s that are doing the rounds online:

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for “cherrypickers” and “cheesemongers”?

Contestant: Homosexuals.

Paxman: No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant: Geography isn’t my strong point.

Theakston: There’s a clue in the title.

Contestant: Leicester.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

Wood: What ‘K’ could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant: Er. . .

Wood: It’s got two syllables . . . Kor . . .

Contestant: Blimey?

Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .

Contestant: (Silence.)

Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .

Contestant: Walked?
BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: I don’t know.

White: I’ll give you some clues. What do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant: Arm.

White: Correct. And if you’re not weak, you’re . .?

Contestant: Strong.

White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten’s first name?

Contestant: Louis.

White: Well, there we are then. So, who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: Frank Sinatra?
LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)

Alex Trelinski: What’s the capital of Italy?

Contestant: France.

Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.

Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let’s try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant: Sorry, I don’t know.

Trelinski: Just guess a country then.

Contestant: Paris.
THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: Prison or the Conservative Party?

Contestant: The Conservative Party.
BEACON RADIO, Wolverhampton

DJ Mark: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi’s first name?

Contestant: Goosey?

GWR FM, Bristol

Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

Contestant: I don’t know, I wasn’t watching it then.

RTE RADIO 2FM, Ireland

Presenter: What is the name of the long-running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The. .?

Caller: Mohicans.

RICHARD AND JUDY (C4))

Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

A: Forrest Gump.

LINCS FM PHONE-IN

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant: Barcelona.

Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant: I’m sorry; I don’t know the names of any countries in Spain.

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Q: What is the world’s largest continent?

A: The Pacific

RICHARD AND JUDY (C4))

Presenter: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant: Er. . .

Presenter: He makes bread. . .

Contestant: Err…

Presenter: He makes cakes . .

Contestant: Kipling Street?

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant: Magna Carta?
sperm whale

BREAKFAST SHOW (RADIO 1)

Chris Moyles: Which ’s’ is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?

Contestant: Ummm. . .

Moyles: It begins with ’s’ and rhymes with ‘perm’.

Contestant: Shark.

JAMES O’BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

O’Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant: Well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth. . . er . . . Three?

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)

Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?

Caller: Japan.

Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn’t hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller: Er . . . Mexico?

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)

Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

DARYL DENHAM’S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)

Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant: Holland?

Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?

Denham (helpfully): It’s a bad line. Did you say Israel?

Contestant: No.

THE VAULT (ITV)

Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant: Nostalgia.

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (RADIO 2)

Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?

Contestant: Jesus

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing what?

Contestant: Basketball.

DOG EAT DOG (BBC1)

Ulrika Jonsson: Who wrote Lord Of The Rings?

Contestant: Enid Blyton.

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and . . ?

Contestant: Jelly.

FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV)

Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word - CHED and PIT.

Team: Chedpit.

SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV)

Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held?

Contestant: Six.

Tufnell: Higher!

Contestant: Five.
mount everest

NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM)

Jeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest?

Contestant (long pause): Er, it’s not in Scotland, is it?

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson: In traffic, what ‘j’ is where two roads meet?

Contestant: Jool carriageway?

QUIZMANIA (ITV)

Greg Scott: We’re looking for an occupation beginning with T.

Contestant: Doctor.

Scott: No, it’s ‘T’. ‘T’ for Tommy. ‘T’ for Tango.

Contestant: Oh, (pause) Doctor.

BIG QUIZ (LBC)

Gary King: Name the funny men who once entertained kings and queens at court.

Contestant: Lepers.

DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM)

Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year?

Contestant: I need a clue.

Kelly: OK. What do beans come in?

Contestant: Cartons?

TALKSPORT

Andy Townsend: How many wheels does a tricycle have?

Caller: Two.

Townsend: The Beatles were known as the Fab…?

Caller: Five.

MAGIC 52 (NORTH-EAST ENGLAND)

Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?

Contestant: Erm…

Presenter: Well, let’s put it this way - he didn’t see 1964.

Contestant: 1965?

WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? (ITV)

Chris Tarrant (asking the audience): ‘Jambon’ is the French for which food?

11 per cent of the audience: Jam.

DAVE LEE TRAVIS SHOW (BREEZE FM)

DLT: In which European country are there people called Walloons?

Contestant: Wales.

JANICE FORSYTH SHOW (BBC RADIO SCOTLAND)

Forsyth: What is India’s currency?

Contestant: Ramadan.

OWEN MONEY SHOW (BBC RADIO WALES)

Money: In 30 seconds, name as many well-known politicians as you can.

Caller: Er. . . Tony Brown. . . and Nigel Benn. (Silence.)

by Ryan Craggs 

Not enough people my age understand the genius of Marvin Gaye. Most assuredly, the person of average pop-culture IQ will be familiar with the song “Let’s Get It On” as a means of getting it on. However, Marvin Gaye’s music means so much more than simply finding a way to set the mood to get busy.

A supremely adept showman, Gaye was gifted with a voice so emotive that God would envy its perfect tone and pitch. Even so, a fair number of musicians aren’t necessarily great at one thing or another—performing, producing or songwriting—but Gaye excelled on all fronts. From his early roots as a studio musician through his metamorphosis into an unprecedented Motown success, Gaye defined talent. His 1978 performance of “Let’s Get It On” in Amsterdam provides a glimpse into the genius this world so dearly misses:

[youtube xY3XdfCqT14 nolink]

Gaye’s personal demons are well-documented, as his failed marriage led to the production of the album Here, My Dear, with a bizarre alimony settlement sending the proceeds to his ex-wife. More importantly, Gaye battled drug use and depression, and eventually in an attempt to rid himself of his troubles, he moved into his parents home. It was during this time that the Reverend Marvin Gay, Sr. and his musician son argued over business documents, and on April 1, 1984, the voice of one of music’s most powerful voices was forever silenced by the blast of his father’s gun.Though Gaye’s discography touches all corners of emotion for me, I find myself continually drawn back to 1971’s What’s Going On and 1973’s Let’s Get It On. Here and now, when hip-hop culture is so much about image and machismo, vanquishing rivals and becoming something of a crime syndicate boss through violence and drugs, pausing and listening to Gaye’s music flips the script. His story is about love, life in the inner-city, and how to make something more of it all. When Gaye croons the lines, “We don’t need to escalate/You see, war is not the answer/ For only love can conquer hate,” there’s a lesson that anyone can learn from. In a time as confusing as ours and amidst Black History Month in the U.S., we should all take time to reflect and recognize an artist with a message. Gaye poses the question, “Would you rather make love children/ As opposed to war?”

I know my answer.

by Chris Read

The push to make the fashion industry slightly more realistic is slowly taking charge, with Madrid again leading the way after 3 British models were banned from taking part in Madrid fashion week because they are too thin.

70 models were examined, and three failed to pass the regulated minimum Body Mass Index of 18%.

The controls were put in place in September 2006 by Madrid’s regional government, after complaints young girls were developing eating disorders trying to emulate the stick-thin model physique.

The move followed complaints that girls and young women were developing eating disorders by trying to copy the models’ rail-thin looks.

The ban on overly thin models, the first in the world at a top-level fashion show, caused outrage among modeling agencies when it was first imposed.

Five models were stopped from taking part the first year that the ban was put in place and another five were banned last year.

The United Nations’ World Health Organisation defines a BMI below 18.5 as “underweight” and recommend an index of between 18.5 and about 25.

As they are 3 people short and as my BMI is not below 18.5 - by some way I might add, I think I may send a picture in to see if they will take me!